The following is taken from John Calvin’s Institutes and shows that he was not only an exceptional theologian but also understood people and what Christian discipleship felt like inside.
‘We cannot imagine any uncertainty that is not tinged with doubt or any assurance that is not assailed by some anxiety… Believers, are in perpetual conflict with their own unbelief… He who, struggling with his own weakness, presses toward faith in his moments of anxiety is already in large part victorious… In order to understand this, it is necessary to return to that division of flesh and spirit which we have mentioned elsewhere. It most clearly reveals itself at this point. Therefore the godly heart feels in itself a division because it is partly imbued with sweetness from its recognition of divine goodness, partly grieves in bitterness from an awareness of its calamity; partly rests upon the promise of the gospel, partly trembles at the evidences of its own iniquity; partly rejoices at the expectation of life, partly shudders at death. This variation arises from imperfection of faith, since in the course of the present life it never goes so well with us that we are wholly cured of the disease of unbelief and entirely filled and possessed by faith. Hence arises these conflicts; when unbelief, which reposes in the remains of the flesh, rises up to attack the faith that has been inwardly conceived.’ (Institutes 3.2.18)
Simon