I was recently reflecting on the issue of ‘self-love’ in the Bible, in light of the Scriptural command to ‘love your neighbour as yourself’ (Leviticus 19:18; Galatians 5:14). This statement is not making any comment on the ethical nature of ‘self-love’ and is simply assuming that we do it, as indeed the apostle Paul does in Ephesians 5:28-30. However, a broader biblical reflection on the nature of self-love reveals a concept that is more complex than it might at first appear.
Self-love as bad. 2 Timothy 3:2 says that there will be terrible times in the last days, where people will be ‘lovers of themselves’. This is clearly wicked and is about self-centredness/selfishness. We do seem to have turned self-centeredness into a virtue in our culture, as our preoccupation with self-fulfilment bears witness. In fact the language of “self” is everywhere: self-esteem; self-affirmation; self-image; self-respect; even “selfie” photos! All manner of social ills flow from this sewer, the most obvious of which is a widespread neglect of proper, selfless, neighbourly love! In this sense, we do indeed live in ‘terrible times’.
Self-love as good. Proverbs 19:8 says, ‘He who gets wisdom loves his own soul [ie himself]’. Here is self-love commended! Why so? Every man, woman and child bears the image of their Creator (Genesis 1:26-7). In a uniquely human way, each and every one of us is a product of divine handiwork and therefore of immense intrinsic value. There is a sense in which we are ALL God’s offspring (Acts 17:29) and so it follows that we ought to properly care for ourselves, out of reverence for God. This is the right kind of self-respect. Self-harm is not only wrong, it is also tragic. No-one need say/think, “I am worthless and my life is pointless”, because it is not true! Such a perspective is entirely consistent with an atheistic worldview but not a biblical one.
I love the blend of these things in the example of Jesus. In Mark 6:30-34, Jesus and the disciples head off for some much needed rest because they need to take care of themselves. This was right and good. However, when a crowd of needy people tracked them down, Jesus doesn’t send them away because he is having some ‘me-time’! Driven by love/compassion for his neighbour, ‘he began teaching them many things’ (v34), no doubt trusting that his Father would meet whatever needs he had, in whatever way was required at that time. What a Saviour!
Simon